So What

by AdyS

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about

AdyS is putting the system on trial with an album of 10 new Sonika songs. Is it just me or he has a bit of an anarchist streak in him? Anyways, this is a sweet set of tracks (albeit thematically kinda depressing) which tell a story together and flow into one another. By virtue of the fact that it's AdyS, one of Vocallective's long-standing members, I recommend checking this out.

credits

released February 2, 2015

music: AdyS
cover art: AdyS

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Track Name: Black Hole
Sonika:

I know it's hard to forget
I know it's hard to let it go
It's even harder to not repeat the same mistake again

But it's never too late to make it right
It's never too late to try

And all the time we've been together
We could have made it better

All the time we've wasted
All the time I've regretted
Now I'm paralyzed
Still stuck in the dark
When we tried to find
The light that made us blind
We started to lose our mind

I'm in a black hole
All my life I'm looking for you
I'm in a black hole
All my life I thought I've found you

I'm stuck between the space and time
But I don't expect you to care
You turned your back on me
But I knew
You wouldn't leave me alone

It's never too late for us to meet again
But I just have to find you back
I only got myself to blame
I should have had myself to blame

All the time we've wasted
All the time I've regretted
Now I'm paralyzed
Still stuck in the dark
When we tried to find
The light that made us blind
We started to lose our mind

I'm in a black hole
All my life I'm looking for you
I'm in a black hole
All my life I thought I've found you

But if all those stars are meant to disappear
What should I do
What could I do
Track Name: Could I Just
Sonika:

I can't see myself in the dark
I try to find something that could shine
so I'm waiting in a line
I'm waiting in a line
waiting
waiting for the light

hard as stone
cold as ice
a frozen heart
surrounded by the warm of summer smile
unaffected
by the pain and rain and chains
disconnected
from my old forgotten past

I will live
I will die
so why should I try
to end my life

I can't see myself in the crowd
I try to find someone that I could trust
so I'm waiting for that time
I'm waiting for that time
waiting
waiting for the one

I can't find anyone who cares
I try to run I try to hide
and I'm waiting for that time
I'm waiting for that time
waiting
let the time go by

I can't see anything in the dark
I've lost my sight I've lost the blue sky
so I'm walking in a straight line
I'm walking in a straight line
hoping
hoping that I could just..
Track Name: Put Down
Sonika:

put down everything you're holding
put it down
everything anything that may hurt you
everything anything that could kill you

i sit on this concrete bench
and i cant stand the cold
the wind is blowing harder than ever

the cloud is getting darker
and darker
i wish i could just run
when the rain comes

stop blaming yourself for what you have done
you know they just want you to cry

if you let yourself drown
they'd just look at you
smiling while you say goodbye

it might be your last chance
and i cant stand to see you go
why are you standing under the rain
when the storm comes down
you'll be by your own

you just have to believe when i say you'll be fine but
you trust them more than me

you dont have to hurt yourself just so you can fit
with the society

just look me in the eyes and tell me
why would i leave you under the rain

they might be seeing beauty praising
their mistakes
but i am seeing pain

what if everything we do is wrong
does it even matter anymore
are we living in the wrong world
are we trying too hard to stand up
are we crying
are we dying
does it even matter anymore

put down everything you're holding
put it down
everything anything that may hurt you
everything anything that could kill you
Track Name: Desire
Sonika, Kokone:

i know you've suffered
but i dont want you to go
i know you hate it
but i have to keep it cold

slowly
i'll make you feel warm again
smoothly
i'll uncover your beauty
love me
i want to be close to you
touch me
i want us to be free

i want to rectify
i want to purify
i want to recognize
i want to clarify

your innocence is lost
i could be the one to blame
you were scared helpless
but now you're the one who initiate

slowly
you'll make me feel warm again
smoothly
you'll uncover my beauty
love me
i want to be close to you
touch me
i want us to be free

i want to rectify
i want to purify
i want to recognize
i want to clarify

our desire
Track Name: One Last Kiss
Sonika:

another one big lie from you
you thought I forgot about the night we went through
my vision blacked out
cold water poured over my body
the expression you gave me
cold and empty

you tear me
you tear me
apart
you really want to see me dying
I'm dying
you're denying
the truth in front of your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes
you know you couldn't say goodbye

and now you want to pretend
you want to forget
that one last kiss
it could have made us dead

and now you want to pretend
you want to forget
that one last kiss
you know we've reached the dead end

another one big lie from you
you thought I forgot about the night we went through
my vision blacked out
cold water poured over my body
the expression you gave me
cold and empty

you tear me
you tear me
apart
you really want to see me dying
I'm dying
you're denying
the truth in front of your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes
you know you couldn't say goodbye

and now you want to pretend
you want to forget
that one last kiss
it could have made us dead

and now you want to pretend
you want to forget
that one last kiss
you know we've reached the dead end

and the music keeps playing
everyone starts to dance
you just keep getting more cliche
with all the things you say

and the music keeps playing
and you're still forgetting
that one last kiss
it could have made us dead

I am not hating
I am just waiting
for you to make it right now
I am not hating
but you keep falling

I am not hating
I am just waiting
for you to make it right now
I am not hating
but you keep falling
you keep falling into your own illusion

and now you want to pretend
you want to forget
that one last kiss
it could have made us dead

and now you want to pretend
you want to forget
that one last kiss
you know we've reached the dead end

and the music keeps playing
everyone starts to dance
you just keep getting more cliche
with all the things you say

and the music keeps playing
and you're still forgetting
that one last kiss
it could have made us dead
Track Name: One By One
Sonika:

I think I'm drowning
suffocating
I wanna break this charm
and set myself free

you're something else
a mad addiction
I could never guess
this unpredictable mess

I won't let you run away
I won't let you go away

now that you know you are trapped
I will take the life out of you

one by one
breath by breath
I'm taking the life out of you

one by one
kiss by kiss
I'm squeezing the life out of you

one by one
slowly and surely
I'm losing control in front of you

one by one
I can't wait
I want it now
I want it now
Track Name: Alone
Sonika:

Why couldn't you
look me in the eyes
you shouldn't just run
I couldn't say goodbye

every time you walked to me
you were asking why
does it hurt so much
I wished I could tell you why

if you tell me i should let you go
you will be alone
you will be alone
you don't have to run away when you're down
you will be alone
because you will be alone

you dont have to blame yourself
for what you have done
it was my fault
I wished I could let it go

I just want you to know
that nothing will go wrong
i dont wanna say goodbye
i wish i could tell you why

if you tell me i should let you go
you will be alone
you will be alone
you dont have to run away when you're down
you will be alone
because you will be alone
Track Name: Go On
Sonika:

It's hard to say
if it's going to stay that way
everything
is accelerating

It's hard to tell
if it's gonna be a good day
I would like
to make it right

I will walk myself home
I will go on even when you're gone

For some reason
I can't explain
trapped in chains
lost my sense
of time

It's hard to wake up
when I'm tired
I would like
to see into the night

I will walk myself home
I will go on even when you're gone
I will let myself go
I will go on even when you're gone

It's hard to say
if it's gonna stay that way

It's hard to tell
if it's gonna be a good day

I will walk myself home
I will go on even when you're gone
I will let myself go
I will go on even when you're gone
Track Name: So What
Sonika:

I don't care
ayy

sometimes I just want to make it look good

I'm trying to see
I'm trying to run
count to zero
4 3 2 1

when I try to make it go away
it keeps coming back to me

I don't want to care
I don't want to survive
Track Name: Grow
Sonika:

a beautiful design
thousands of colours combine into one
the flowers start to die
thousands of petals flying into the blue sky

your silent whisper
your voice
stuck in my ears when we are this close

touch me softly
and let the flowers grow